I broke the process of downsizing a multi-generational home into series of steps and tried to manage the process! and I survived!
This post was first published on May 28, 2021. Now that two years have passed, I can “talk” about the experience without bursting into tears!
If you have been following me for a while, you know that herbs have held a large part of my heart for quite sometime. I started my first herb business on my parents’ farm. More about that can be found here:
How does my love of herbs and the farm relate to the downsizing process? It is all tied together in how emotional this process has been for me. Letting go has been extremely difficult. The sheer size of the project has been daunting and overwhelming at times. The house has/had been on the market much much much longer than I ever imagined it would be.
If you are new to following me, I will share a little background.
My parents moved into this farmhouse in 1949. My grandfather had purchased the farmland that surrounded the home in 1942. The farmhouse was included in the purchase. My parents had me after trying for years to have a child and after suffering the loss of a baby girl. My husband & I moved into the farmhouse in the summer of 2001 and my parents moved into a new house we had built for them on the back corner of the property.
I lost my Mom in the late summer of 2014 and my Dad in the fall of 2017. We were able to honor their wish that they be able to stay in their home and not go to the nursing home. My Mom did have a couple of short stays in the nursing home due to her declining health, but she wasn’t a permanent resident. My Dad was only in the hospital for three very short visits.
My parents had had the foresight to purchase long term care when they retired in their early 60s. The long-term care policy provided the coverage we needed to help keep them in their home. We also had a lot of help from family friends.
After my Dad passed away, my husband & I purchased my Great Aunt’s house in Punta Gorda, Florida. We had originally planned to use it as a winter retreat. I soon changed my mind and decided we should relocate to Florida permanently. 
The Size of the Project
Not only were there two houses on the property, but there was also a barn, a corn crib, an implement shed, a building we call the pavilion, my Dad’s workshop, the garage, a small greenhouse type building and a stand-alone storage shed. Not located on the property but also part of this project were two storage units and the building that housed my former pizzeria. The pizzeria had an upstairs and two rooms full of stuff related to my flower shop/antique business.
I wish I would have kept track of how many rolls of Gorilla tape, boxes of trash bags, rolls of bubble wrap and the number of boxes I/we packed over the last two and a half years. There were many times I wished I had a sibling to help with the project! I did have a lot of help from my husband and friends.
In addition to clearing everything out, there were a number of things that needed to be done in order to get the house ready to go on the market. This picture of my husband was taken almost two years ago. I wish we would have removed the carpet long before we did. The carpet removing process in order to reveal the hardwood floors is detailed here:
How Many Truck Loads?
I had several different auctioneers tell me they couldn’t be bothered with auctioning off the items that we weren’t keeping. I was told things like “you don’t have enough for an auction”, “it’s all been picked over”, “you should have called me first” and my personal favorite “you have a dumpster, just throw it all in there…. I don’t want to waste my time”.! Fortunately, for every jerk auctioneer, there was a great auctioneer that helped me out. The gentlemen from Blue Mound, Paxton and Deland, Illinois all were awesome to work with. I think I ended up having things in 6 different auctions during the course of the process.
I also had a professionally run 3-day estate sale to start off the process in Oct 2018. My friends helped me do two smaller estate sales at the farm last June. Some items were sold on Facebook Marketplace. A lot was donated with to the local mission or Goodwill.
And yes, there were dumpsters involved. Two trash dumpsters and a special metal recycling dumpster. Several trips to the metal recycling place were made with additional metal and electronics. And the burn pile was put to good use too!
I have lost track of how many moving company trucks, U Haul vans, U Pack pods, & van loads of “stuff” that have been brought to the Florida house. Some items were shipped down early in the process in order to decorate the house. Other items were shipped earlier this month because they missed the final pod.
All this work brought us to:
May 27, 2021
Yesterday the closing on the property was held. I had my attorney handle it for me. I really didn’t think I could make it through the closing without bursting into tears. So much time, energy and emotional output has gone into the process of getting the houses ready to be sold. Not to mention all the memories.
Several good things came out of the process. I forged stronger bonds with the Jones side of the family. I reconnected with old friends. I had the support of several close friends and cousins. My realtor turned out to be a distant relative. Her Great Grandmother was my Grandmother’s Sister! I learned some things about the family that I was glad to learn. I did learn somethings that I wish I hadn’t. But I did survive the process.
I hope the new owners will love the farmhouse as much as I have. I left them a gift. This oil painting was painted by a family friend in the early 1960s. It depicts the farm when there was still an orchard and my parents raised hogs.
If you are interested in reading more about the Thyme to Let Go process, the first 6 posts are outlined below:
Thyme to Let Go- How I Downsized My Family Homestead
And the pandemic hit! I made several trips back to Illinois by myself to continue working on getting the outbuildings as well as the two houses cleared out.
I can imagine how difficult this would have been. Life’s journey is a mystery to me sometimes. I am happy you reconnected with many.
Thank you , Melba! Thanks for taking the time to read my post!
What a bitter-sweet post. I wish you all the luck in your future endeavors, and I bet you’re glad all of that hard work is over!
Thank you, Danielle! Yes I am glad the hard work is done! So tired of packing and sorting!
What a lovely gift to leave the new owners. I bet that they will treasure it. Good luck with your new adventure.
Thank you, Libbie! I hope they like it. I also left them a handwritten of my Mom’s telling the history of the house
oh boy…this really is the end of an era.
Yes yes it is! It is nice to not have to worry about the property since I am so far away but it has been hard to let go!
Change can be so difficult. I’m sure this has been so hard for you. Sounds like your parents raised an amazing woman😊
Thank you , Cindy! I appreciate your kind words!
Oh my gosh Kimberly. What an emotional time for you. So hard to let go but I’m sure the new owners will love and cherish the farmhouse as much as you have. You are now free to move on with your life. You will never forget and will always cherish the memories.
Thank you, Carol! It has been an emotional journey. It is a relief to not have to worry about the property when I am so far away!
What an endeavor! Amazing that your parents were able to stay in their home, on their land. Glad you found auctioneers to help you and that you reconnected with friends and family. Hope you are able to relax a bit and enjoy this new chapter of your life.
thank you so much, Marie! As hard as it has been to let go, I think I am finally ready to start enjoying this next chapter!
Wow, so much history tied to the property. I can only imagine how hard it must be to say goodbye. I’m sure the new owners will treasure the painting. It’s a charming gift.
Thank you, Kim! I also left them a picture from the early 1890’s showing the original family that built the house and a hand written note that my Mom had written years ago about the history of the house. I do hope the new owners love the house .
It’s so hard to let go of the ‘stuff’ because each item holds memories and the property has so much history. I can’t imagine how hard a process it would be to go through this alone. Both my husband and I lost our respective mom’s within months of each during covid and we just finished clearing out the last house a month ago. I have two siblings so that was a saving grace! It’s such a huge sense of relief to finally be ‘done’, but I’m still in the ‘burst into tear phase’ like you were.
I hope in the intervening years you’ve been enjoying the next chapter!
Do you ever keep in touch with the new owners?
Thank you Sara for your kind words! I haven’t reached out to the new owners yet but I have friends that still live in the area so they send me an occasional picture of the homestead. I am still not sure if I really want to know what changes they have made to the inside!
I can relate; the people that bought my mom’s house are gutting it and renovating it even though we put tons of work into updating it. I’m curious but at the same time, I’m not lol.
I understand completely! I wanted to change some of the flooring in the entryway and my contractor friend said to just leave it cause the new owner might want to change it. Maybe in a couple of more years I might be ready to see what changes they might have made!